Please Hear....

Don't Be Fooled By Me..


Do not be fooled by the face I wear..
For I wear a mask,thousand masks....
Masks that I'm afraid to take off, and NONE of them is ME...
Pretending is an art that's second nature to me, but don't be fooled. I give you the impression that I'm secure, confidence is my name and coolness is my game, that the water is calm and I'm in command, And That I need NO ONE. But don't believe me.

My surface may seem smooth but it's also a mask, ever-varying & ever-concealing.

Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies lots of confusion & fear & aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anyone to know this.... !!!!


I feel so panicky thinking that my weakness & fear would get exposed. That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a non chalant sophiticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation. My only hope , and I know it. that is, if it's followed by acceptance, love, it's the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self built glass walls.

It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I'm really worth something. Even I don't like to hide. I don't like playing superficial phoney games.I want to stop playing them. I want to be genuine & spontaneous and ME, but you have got to help me.
You have got to hold out your hand even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from the eyes the bland stare of the breathing DEAD.Only you can call me into Aliveness.

Each time you're kind and gentle & encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very feeble though, but Wings!! Ready to Fly...
With your power to touch me into feeling, You can breathe life into me.

I want you to know that...

Please Hear What I Am Not Saying..... !!!!!!!!!!


Chikz!!!
23rd Aug,04
11:30 am
Extract From My Diary...